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A negative pressure room inside St. Joseph Hospital

Like her father, Brian Wilson of The Beach Boys, Carnie Wilson found solace and joy in music. She started the group Wilson Phillips with her sister and childhood friend. But then, it turned out she inherited some of her father's addiction issues, too. With the help of her community, she rose from her darkest place.

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Back From Broken is a show about how we are all broken sometimes, and how we need help from time to time. If you’re struggling, you can find a <a href="https://www.cpr.org/shows-and-podcasts/back-from-broken-resources/" data-type="URL" data-id="https://www.cpr.org/shows-and-podcasts/back-from-broken-resources/">list of resources</a> at&nbsp;<a href="http://backfrombroken.org">BackFromBroken.org</a>.

Host: Vic Vela Lead producer: Kibwe Cooper Editor: Rebekah Romberg Additional editorial support: Jo Erickson, Erin Jones, Emily Williams, Andrew Villegas Music: Daniel Mescher and Brad Turner with additional music from Universal Production Music Executive producers: Brad Turner, Kevin Dale

Thanks also to Rachel Estabrook, Hart van Denburg, Jodi Gersh, Clara Shelton, Arielle Wilson, Kim Nguyen.

BackFromBroken.org On Twitter: @VicVela1

Vic Vela: Hey, it’s Vic with a quick note. Just wanna let you know that episode contains some strong language and discussion of suicide. Please be advised.

Carnie Wilson was born into the spotlight. She’s the daughter of music legend Brian Wilson, co-founder of The Beach Boys, and one of the greatest songwriters of all time. Brian Wilson blew minds in the music industry with the epic Beach Boys album, “Pet Sounds.” [Soundbite of Beach Boys song, “Wouldn’t it be Nice?”] And just like her father, Carnie Wilson would become famous in her own right, along with the pop music trio, Wilson Phillips. And in 1990, you couldn’t go anywhere without hearing this song...

[Soundbite of Wilson Phillips song, “Hold On”]

You might think that growing up in a house with one of the most innovative musical minds of the 20th century would be a dream. But fame and fortune has its dark side

Carnie Wilson: Addiction runs in my family. It – alcoholism in particular runs in on the Wilson side of my father's. He dabbled with heroin, sniffing it. I don't think he ever shot it up, but, um, he was definitely drinking alcohol, cocaine, um, pills, you know. And, um, and LSD.

Vic: How much of that played a role in your own struggles? Carnie: Well, I mean, it was very, uh, the household was just so unpredictable, you know…

Vic: As a child Carnie faced her father’s drug addiction and his destructive mental health challenges. And as an adult, she’d have to grapple with things like fame, her weight, and a vicious cycle of coping that led her down a dark road of addiction and disaster. I'm Vic Vela. I'm a journalist, a storyteller, and a recovering drug addict. And this is season 4 of “Back from Broken” from Colorado Public Radio. Stories about the highest highs, the darkest moments, and what it takes to make a comeback. It was the late 1970’s and Carnie was a kid growing up in the Hollywood Hills of California. She attended private schools with children from other famous families. And like her father, she was musically gifted and found her comfort in theater and performance. But Carnie was also dealing with a lot of trauma at home.

Carnie: I grew up with just really like crazy erratic, really fucked up behavior. My mom was married at 16 and had me at 20, you know, she was 20 years old and she had a baby, and then she, 21 and a half, she had my sister, Wendy. And she was just like a baby. My mom tried very hard to sort of shield us and, and then my dad was like full on in his drug addiction right after I was born. There were times when I felt like I was, I was a parent, you know, like real – like the memories, you know. As a kid, like, I get flashbacks of like, you know, when my dad brought this drug addict woman in the house. Her name was Debbie, and he, and they would lock themselves in the bedroom doing drugs. And my mother, who's the wife, you know … He's fucking her. He's doing drugs with her. And, and I remember one day I said, I stood outside the door and I knew that my dad was in the bedroom. And I just said, I'm gonna, I said – “get out here ‘cause I'm gonna knock your tits off.” Like I was ready to fight her, you know, that I remember saying those words. So it was like this young girl. Um, I was maybe nine, nine years old, 10. And knowing that my father was in the bedroom. We don't know what he's doing. He's crazy in there. And. And we couldn't get him out. And it's just like – that is a horrible thing for a child to go through. And, you know, it's not that you look for a pity party here. It's the reality of what I experienced. So no wonder I turned to sugar. The final straw was my father when I was like, um, I think it was 11, uh, tried to … I remember going in the, the maid’s room, and I just vaguely remember being there. I don't remember this happening, but I remember me running out of the room. But apparently he'd tried to make me sniff some heroin, powdered – this yellow powder, sniff it. And I ran up to mom and I said, “Mommy, Mommy! Daddy wants me to sniff this yellow powder in my nose.” And that was, I was, uh, 11 years old. And that next day she said, that's it, you know, I'm done. And, and she filed for divorce, and that was it, because, you know, her kids weren't safe anymore. And, you know, so that was that.

Vic: My dad was an alcoholic. I remember, I, he would, he would give anyone the shirt off his back, the hardest working man. He loves his family. But when he got those beers in him and he was watching football and he's cursing at the TV when the Broncos are losing and acting like a total asshole, it was traumatic, you know? And, and, I didn't think for any second that he didn't love me or, or anything like that. It's just that he was in so much pain. And that illness, that disease is so much stronger. And it, and it turns people into Jeckyl and Hyde.

Vic: That incident with her father destroyed what was left of her parents' marriage. And Carnie coped with the pain with sugar.

Carnie: I was very overweight and always teased, and there was, there was a lot of sadness there. It was really rough. But when I got in the, uh, junior high in high school, because my class was like, um – everybody was together all those years, you know. It was all these kids of like, you know, actors and singers – their kids. And so everybody kind of understood the rhythm of a family in the entertainment industry. Vic: Carnie would find other ways to self-medicate as a teenager in the early 1980’s, including smoking weed. But she also found a positive outlet in music.

Carnie: It's brought me joy since I'm a little, little girl. And I used to sing harmony with … My mom taught me to sing harmony with Wendy driving down Sunset Boulevard in her, um, you know, in her convertible Mercedes. And we used to drive down Sunset Boulevard and listen to like Hart, and Bob Seger, and she would teach me how to sing harmony. And it was like, I felt, I found this like – it was, it was something that I felt in my, like in my blood, in my system, in my cells, like in my body. I'd have a physical, visceral reaction to harmony and music. And, um, I didn't know what that was. I just knew that I was obsessed with music from a young age that started. And then I was obsessed with harmony. And I used to go to school and get everybody gathered around the, the, um, picnic bench, you know. And like, during free period and lunch period, we would sing harmony. Um, “Peaceful Easy Feeling” by the Eagles. I would tell everybody, okay, you sing this part and you sing this part, and here's the low and here's the middle and here's the high. I found my place, you know? That was what I was gravitating towards. And that is how Wilson Phillips formed. After I graduated high school, I was, um, 18 and I was sitting on the floor, you know, smoking bong loads, of course, and I bought, uh, “ABACAB” by Genesis. I bought “Wild Heart” by Stevie Nicks, and I bought, uh, “Hart's Greatest Hits” and Doobie Brothers and all my favorites – Steely Dan, you know, Fleetwood Mac. And just, we just started harmonizing my sister and I, and then Chynna came over one day and it was very innocent, but I just said, hey, you know, why don't we sing harmony? And Chynna’s like, what's that? You know? And had no idea, you know? And she comes from the Mamas and Papas family. We all have it in our blood. And I just said, well, Wendy, why don't you sing the high part? And, and Chynna, you sing the middle part and I’ll sing the low. And we started singing and there was this incredible sound. And my mom came downstairs and she said, what are you guys doing? And I said, we're harmonizing, you know? And she goes, what is that sound? And I'm like, I don't know, we're just, just singing. And she goes, you guys gotta do something with that.

Vic: And they did! In 1989 Carnie and Wendy Wilson, daughters of Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys, joined their childhood friend Chynna Phillips, daughter of John and Michelle Phillips of the Mamas and the Papas, to form Wilson Phillips. Chynna’s mom told the girls to go see renowned record producer Richard Perry to help get their careers off the ground.&nbsp;

Carnie: We go over his house. He's rolling a joint, you know, rolling a joint. He lived in Ronald Reagan's old house, you know, up Doheny Drive. We go to his house. He's like, well, what are you gonna sing for me? ‘Cause um, we, we – he told us to like, have something prepared to sing for him, almost like an audition. This big Hollywood producer, but a friend of Michelle's, you know, and, um – Chynna’s mom, Michelle. And we were like, all right. And then we sang, um, five words of a Stevie Nicks song called “Wild Heart.” And we sang five words, and he – and it was three, three part harmony. And he is like, that's it? That's all you're gonna sing? We said, yeah, do you like it? He, and he's like, I fucking love it. He's like, I – this is, this is unbelievable.

Vic: Wilson Phillips became a sensation. Their music videos were all over VH1 and MTV and their songs were everywhere. It was an era where the band would put out several hit singles, including a cover of “Daniel” from Elton John, who once tucked a young Carnie Wilson into bed he when was visiting her father. [Soundbite of Wilson Phillips cover of “Daniel”]

Now, Carnie was used&nbsp; to life in the entertainment industry, but this was a whole new ballgame for her. She was smoking a lot of weed to help cope with the spotlight.

Carnie: I became a stoner. Um, when I, the last year of high school – I would say my senior year, it started to be a more regular use. And, um, I came to school high quite a bit, maybe like towards the end of the, maybe the second half of my senior year. When I graduated high school, I barely graduated. Um, I went, whisked right into the Wilson Phillips career, right into the music career. And I just, I, I just delved into like, the harmony, the singing, and then demos in the studio. I was on the road to a professional career. But, at the same time, I was on and off smoking pot because I couldn't be high all the time because I had work to do. And it was like this great opportunity, and I knew it back then. So, um, and I always tried to stop. I remember, like, I, I was 19. I went to a Marijuana's Anonymous meeting. I would see people on Ventura Boulevard here in California smoking cigarettes. Like I'd pass – drive by this place, and I'd see the same group of people smoking cigarettes. And I'm like, who are they? And what are they doing? Why are they standing out there? And I realized that that was an AA meeting [laughter]. And, uh, I went to a Marijuana's Anonymous meeting. And I, I clearly wasn't ready. Didn't understand it. No. Just backed out and just left. And that was that.&nbsp;

Vic: Carnie was just 19 when fame rocked her world. Wilson Phillips released their first single “Hold On” in February of 1990. And by the summer, “Hold On” was the number one single in the U.S.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

Vic: You had such a unique upbringing, you know, obviously not just because of your famous father, but you know, how things got started with Wilson Phillips. What was your reaction when you found out that a song that you guys wrote together went number one in the charts?

Carnie: It was fucking mind blowing. It was 3:00 a.m. and uh, the record company, um, you know, president called and said, you did it, baby. You're number one. And we – I just burst into tears and screamed, screamed. And Wendy was next door, and she heard me screaming in the room, and she's like, what happened? What happened? You know? And went in the hallway, and I'm like, what happened? What, you know? And, and I've got a picture of Wendy in the hallway. I had my camera with me, and I captured a lot of these moments. You know, I have them in my photo albums at home. And it was just unbelievable.&nbsp;

Vic: It was a dream come true! But being number one brought its own unique challenges around sustaining that success. There was a lot of pressure on Carnie, and she found relief in her old friend, marijuana.

Carnie: I did battle with stopping and starting and stopping and starting. And it would, like – it was such a thing like, okay, today. It's – the insanity. You know, same thing with alcohol. The insanity of today's the day I'm not gonna smoke. Today's the day I'm not gonna drink. And sometimes, you know, staying clean for a little while, but always going back. And, um, you know, the years would go by. I got into a relationship with a full-blown addict. We became engaged. This is my early twenties. We used together for, for years. And, um, it became really just really ugly. A lot of just really shitty things, you know? And that whole thing: you have a partner where you enable each other's addiction. I wasn't aware of that at the time. I just knew that I loved to smoke pot. I wanted to be a stoner. He was a stoner. We were a perfect match. Vic: And at the same time, the pressure from her record company was becoming more than Carnie could handle.

Carnie: We had to create the music and the, the, um, we were just non-stop working. And they never gave us a break. We were forced to go right into the second album. And we were growing up in real time with this record. So, um, we had started therapy. I – we all started, uh, therapy, um, and started dealing with our emotions. And that second record that we made called “Shadows and Light” was all about our childhood and growing up and, and becoming young adults and, and partly some of the, of some of the whirlwind that we experienced, but really more reflecting back.

[Soundbite of Wilson Phillips song “Shadows &amp; Light”] So it was, it was a very cathartic album. And the, the pressure of having to be successful, like the first one hit us like a tidal wave. And it was very, very, very difficult. We started fighting because it was like, you know, um, no, we should do this. No, we should do this. Egos set in. Our egos really came into play. When we go in the studio, I have to direct them and say, no, you're flat. Sing it again. I was controlling, I'm still controlling. Wendy and Chynna, and I had to go through certain life situations. Like, we got married, we had children, and we sort of reached this kind of, this point where we realized there's something really missing. I was in a major depression, and my fiance and I broke up at that time. So I was kind of like starting from scratch.

Vic: In 1993, just just a few years after forming, Wilson Phillips split up. Carnie was devastated, confused, and frustrated. After a tough breakup with her ex-fiance, Carnie started working in film and television and got married to her husband Rob. But she was worried that her career was at a stand still. She was drowning in tax debt, and on top of everything else Carnie’s weight became a major health crisis.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

Carnie: I weighed about three hundred and ten pounds. You know, and I'm like five three. So I was quite heavy. And I was doing some acting, you know. I had a talk show that was already done. One day I woke up and I couldn't feel the right side of my face. And I, my face was frozen, and I thought I was having a stroke. I was at a personal low and a health low. Bell's palsy is what I had, where the seventh cranial nerve gets swollen, freezes the muscles in your face, and it's like the same symptoms as a stroke. Uh, not the arm, but your face. Called the doctor. And he's like, you're having, you have Bells Palsy.

And I had actually had just, um, acted in an NBC miniseries called “The Sixties,” where I played Mama Earth, and I had to go to a red carpet event, and I had the Bell's Palsy. And I, I've, I've looked back at the pictures on the red carpet, and my face was really fucked up. You know, I'm walking the red carpet, like, yeah, smiling with half a face, you know, frozen. But I really used that as a metaphor in the time of my life. My manager was involved with this company that had some celebrities come on and talk about their, their different illnesses. And he said to me, you know, I know a doctor in San Diego that's really helped a lot of people, um, with morbid obesity, and he wants to talk to you about having a gastric bypass surgery. And I had heard stomach stapling before, but I, you know, I was, I was not&nbsp; well. I was really physically not well, 31 years old. And I was, uh, the doctor said to me, you know, your liver is totally toxic. It's inflamed. You know, your blood work's not great. You're gonna have diabetes within one year, and you're not gonna see 40 years old if you don't lose weight. Scared the shit outta me. And I was like, this is my only option. And I thought, fuck it. I'm, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna go for it. And I had a gastric bypass.&nbsp;

Vic: Carnie knew something had to change, and even though gastric bypass surgery was a relatively new procedure at the time, in 1999 Carnie wanted to take that major step toward becoming a better more healthy version of herself. After a quick break, we'll learn how Carnie used her illness to help inspire a new generation of fans who struggled with obesity. And how she faced her struggles with addiction. In 1999, Carnie was facing a serious decision. To better her health – and possibly save her life – she underwent a gastric bypass. Carnie wanted her surgery televised as a way to inspire others who were struggling with their weight.&nbsp;

[Soundbite of introduction to surgery documentary]

Carnie: I wound up really touching a lot of people, and it was actually that, that was frightening for me. I could not handle it. My body was completely unfamiliar. I would cry on my husband's, my new husband's chest. I would cry. I, I, I'm not myself. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? I didn't know who I was. And because it was such a physical change, so drastic, so quickly, my mind could not catch up with my body. And that's when I started to drink alcohol. I discovered wine. I was never a wine drinker. And then I discovered vodka. And when I discovered vodka, all bets were off for me.

Vic: What did that look like? Carney, your, your vodka drinking?

Carnie: It was every day more, um, starting earlier in the day. Um, it was, it was centering my activities around alcohol. It was going to lunch, drinking, going to concerts, drinking, uh, cooking and baking dinner for my husband, drinking, getting drunk, lying, going out, shopping with my girlfriends and drinking in the middle of the day. I found a great drinking buddy. She introduced me to the martini, fuck her! [Laughter] And because of the gastric bypass, the alcohol, um, goes through your system quicker.

Vic: Wow. I didn't even think about that.

Carnie: Wow. Get drunk faster. Go straight to your liver, which is very dangerous. I had a surgery to remove excess skin from the weight loss. I had my boobs done. I was feeling really sexy, and I was, uh, I got a prescription for some Valium. And when I – you know, to, to, for the surgery. And when I found it, I was like, whoa, this is the best thing I've ever felt. Vic: Things got a little better for Carnie after her transformative bypass surgery. She bought a home and was even asked to pose for Playboy magazine. But this period is when alcohol took over her life.

Carnie: By the grace of God, I say now, I didn't die of alcohol poisoning earlier because I was drinking a lot of vodka every day. I remember the Osbournes’ reality show was on TV, and I was like obsessed with it. Rob and I loved watching it. And I would go in commercial breaks and I would have a big, big, big mug – big, big tall glass of straight vodka. And I would go into the closet, you know. I could smell it. I could taste it. I would go into my little closet and I would just chug this vodka during the commercial breaks of watching the Osbournes, and I’d come back more drunk and more drunk, and I would just pass out. And my husband, you know, he saw everything progress and progress and progress. We started really fighting about it. And I started asking my husband and everybody around me, do you think I'm an alcoholic? Do you think I'm an alcoholic? I just, I just wanted, it was like, I wanted everybody to say to me, you are fucked up. You need help. Because I was semi- functioning. You know what I mean? It wasn't like I was lying in bed all day drinking, and I wasn't going out of the house, and I wasn't bathing. I was still doing occasional hosting on TV. I was, you know … I, I, and, but it was this internal struggle where I could not stop. I was starting to just, this is when I hit my rock bottom with drinking, was right after Playboy, right after that. And, um, Rob – my husband – was going to make an album of his own, and he left town. I was by myself drinking every night.

Vic: In the early 2000’s, Carney's drinking and prescription drug use reached a critical point. She was alone and depressed. She was even hiding her drinking from her husband.

Carnie: On the phone with him trying to stay sober and not sound drunk. And kind of like, don't worry. I –&nbsp; you know, I'm, I'm doing this. I'm not drinking, but lying. And he knew it. I remember just with those days, I was waking up, you know, apparently I was calling everybody from my closet, you know? Um, I apparently – I liked drinking in the closet, even when there was nobody in the house. It was like a safe place. It was quiet. I had bruises all over my body and everything. And a couple days before I got sober, I was driving down Coldwater Canyon, which is a canyon that takes you from Lake Beverly Hills into the valley in LA. And I was like, you know, I could just turn my wheel and just drive off the cliff. You know what I mean? I was like, I could just, I mean, that, that'll make me stop. I could stop drinking then. I won't be alive. I wouldn't have to worry about it. And I, I was, I had a husband who loved me. I had careers, I had a beautiful home. I was empty as shit inside. And I remember waking up one day and looking outside, um, the window, and it was in my master bedroom, and I was looking outside the window and we had this beautiful property and there was all these beautiful trees, you know, big, beautiful trees of all different colors. And, and I just looked outside and I was like, Jesus. I was like, God, help me. You know? I just said, God, help me. I need you, God. And it was like, I, I was spiritual before I even knew what being spiritual meant. And I walked into the rooms of AA and I've never left. And this was, uh, 2004. And, um, I admitted that I was an alcoholic and my life was unmanageable. And then I worked the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous with a sponsor. And that's where my journey began in sobriety.

Vic: Carnie got to step one and faced her addiction head on. And today her challenges have given her a new perspective on addiction and her traumatic childhood.

Carnie: I think if kids go through any kind of traumatic experience, it's in the cells of their body, you know, and they carry it with them. And unless you're in some kind of – unless you have some kind of therapy or you're working on, you know, not reliving the events, but in a way yes. Because we stuff these things down inside of us and we build these, these walls around us to stay tough, to stay and to survive. And let's face it, you know, they're not, they're not usually healthy. It's like, what's, what's the solution to it all? Get it all off your chest. If you're imbalanced chemically, maybe you take an antidepressant, get therapy, exercise, proper sleep, proper nutrition. These things that are healthy, they're not my first go-to. It's not my first go-to to like treat my fear and my anxiety and traumas with healthy things. That's boring. You know? I wanna check out, you know? I mean, it's, oh, you know – a walk, a bath, oh, whoop-dee-do. An AA meeting. But guess what? I've learned that those things work. The difference between the sugar addiction and that kind of stuff is that you gotta live every day and you gotta eat. Vic: Yeah. Carnie: So you really have to make choices because it's like, you know, I can't just say, oh, I'm gonna have a little bit of marijuana, I'm gonna have a little bit of vodka, you know, I'm gonna have a little bit of wine. That's not an option. So, you know, it's all or nothing. And with sugar, it was like, that was my first friend. And then alcohol and drugs became my absolute best friend ever. Later I wound up almost suicidal over it. Nothing took away that need to use. And it just was so powerful and overcame everything. I wish I could have one drink and that would be it. It's just not the way we're wired. Vic: Yeah. Hmm. It's amazing how something from 30 plus years ago is still relevant today. [Soundbite of Wilson Phillips song “Release Me”] I was looking back on the lyrics of “Release Me,” which was one of the first songs, if not the first song that you all wrote together. Um: “I'm not going back to you anymore. / Finally my weakened heart is healing, though very slow. / So stop coming around my door / ‘cause you're not gonna find what you're looking for.”

[Soundbite of Wilson Phillips song “Release Me”]

Vic: I view everything through the lens of recovery like you. And, to me that's something I would write like in a letter to cocaine or alcohol.

Carnie: Jeez. I never thought of “Release Me” in that way. That's really amazing. ‘Cause I kept thinking it's like love, love, love, interest. But now that I look at it, it can be about that – drugs and alcohol, you know? Yeah. It's amazing. It’s knocking on your door. But guess what? We've changed, you know, um, we've released that part of ourselves. That's amazing.&nbsp;

Vic: Yeah. You know, right now there may be a teenage kid listening to this, right? Who, um, who might be struggling with weight or body issues or drugs and alcohol. I, I guess, what would you say to them?

Carnie: This is where I don't wanna cry [chuckles]. This is the part where I get very emotional. But what I say to my own daughter is that there is a solution to everything we're feeling. There's a solution to, uh, depression or anxiety. There are tools and life is worth living. And there are ways to find happiness. It's okay to be vulnerable. I've learned to right size myself and, and stay in gratitude because I think gratitude is the number one most important thing. It's the opposite of having a resentment. And resentments will take you out. Resentments will lead you to drink. Um, gratitude will keep you grounded and, um, and bring positive energy into your life. Vic: Carnie hasn’t drank since 2004 and continues to be grateful for the highs and lows of life and the miracles of recovery. Carnie: Just a few days ago, I'm doing a quick grocery shopping and I'm very anxious. I'm in some financial fear right now. And I was walking through the market, and, like I do, where I know that anywhere I am, if I'm feeling, uh, you know, scared or nervous or anxious or wanting to use, I can stop and pray. No matter where I am. Praying is really helpful for me. And at the market, I'm standing in front of the goddamn Tostitos, you know, and I'm like, God, please, you know, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can –&nbsp; my attitude, my fear, my outlook – and the wisdom to know the difference. And I said, angels, please give me a sign. Please, a sign that everything's gonna be okay. I'm not fucking shitting you. Two minutes later, “Hold On,” came on at the market.

Carnie: God damn. You know? And I, I just … So it, it's like …&nbsp;

Carnie: Well, what can I say? You know? Yeah.

Vic: Oh wow. What a moment. Carnie. Those things happen in recovery and it's just amazing. And there's, there's no way to explain it other than thank you, God. When we let go and let God in this case, beautiful things happen. Carnie lives in LA with her husband and two daughters. She still works her recovery program every single day.

“Back From Broken” is a show about how we are all broken sometimes. And how we need help from time to time. If you’re struggling with alcoholism or mental health struggles, you can find a list of resources at our website, backfrombroken.org. Thanks for listening to “Back From Broken.” Please review the show on Apple Podcasts. It helps other people find it. “Back From Broken” is a production of Colorado Public Radio's Audio Innovation studio and CPR News. Our lead producer for this episode was Kibwe Cooper. Find a list of all the folks who worked hard to make this episode in the show notes. This podcast is made possible by Colorado Public Radio members. Learn about supporting Back from Broken at cpr.org.&nbsp;

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Like her father, Brian Wilson of The Beach Boys, Carnie Wilson found solace and joy in music, but also issues with addiction. With the help of her community, she rose from her darkest place.

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