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Khadi Oluwatoyin was always a high achiever. She excelled in law school and got her dream job, as a lawyer in New York City, in her early twenties. Racial and gender barriers didn’t stop her. Nothing stood in the way of her career, except alcohol. But when Khadi sought help for her drinking, she often found she was the only Black woman in the room. So she created her own recovery group for Black women and nonbinary folks to help others — and herself — through recovery.

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Back From Broken is a show about how we are all broken sometimes, and how we need help from time to time. If you’re struggling, you can find a list of resources at&nbsp;<a href="http://backfrombroken.org/">BackFromBroken.org</a>.

Host: Vic Vela Lead producer:&nbsp;Emily Williams Editor:&nbsp;Jo Erickson Mixed by:&nbsp;Kibwe Cooper Additional editorial support: Erin Jones, Rebekah Romberg, Andrew Villegas Music: Daniel Mescher and Brad Turner with additional music from Universal Production Music Executive producers: Brad Turner, Kevin Dale Thanks also to Rachel Estabrook, Hart van Denburg, Jodi Gersh, Clara Shelton, Arielle Wilson, Kim Nguyen.

<a href="http://backfrombroken.org/">BackFromBroken.org</a> On Twitter: @VicVela1

Vic Vela: When Khadi Oluwatoyin first tried going to 12-step meetings on Staten Island, where she’d grown up, she hoped to find a community there. Instead, she felt out of place.&nbsp;

Khadi Oluwatoyin: There was this rule where you couldn't speak about outside issues, basically outside issues generally, you couldn't talk about race.

Vic: How many Black folks were in those meetings besides you?

Vic: As a young Black woman who’d grown up on Staten Island’s North Shore, one meeting in particular stuck out to her.&nbsp;&nbsp;

Khadi: I remember one of the meetings that I went to, there was a speaker, and the speaker basically began talking about how her life was while she was in addiction. She was miserable, she hated it. She was living in blah, blah, blah neighborhood. And I looked at her like, girl, what's wrong with that neighborhood? I was raised in that neighborhood. The borough that I come from is very North Shore, South Shore, North Shore, a mixed diverse of immigrants, black folks. And then the South Shore is just predominantly white. I was really annoyed and offended that she said that because there's nothing wrong with that neighborhood.

Vic: Khadi was navigating her early career as a lawyer in New York City and her own alcoholism while struggling to find a recovery path that was right for her. In the process, Khadi learned that recovery doesn’t have to look a certain way. She was able to create her own recovery community…one she wished she could have had in the first place.

I’m Vic Vela. I’m a journalist, a storyteller and a recovering drug addict. And this is “Back from Broken” from Colorado Public Radio. Stories about the highest highs, the darkest moments and what it takes to make a comeback.

Growing up in New York, Khadi was always a high achiever.

Khadi: Yeah, pretty much. I was very adventurous, very outgoing, very creative and productive. However, growing up I don't think I really understood what rest meant. I didn't really understand, you know, building self-worth and self-esteem outside of the things that you're accomplishing.

Vic: Khadi was a star student, but she also pushed back against authority.&nbsp;

Khadi: I was very rebellious. Mm-hmm. I always went against authority, even in school. I will say that. Like my principals never understood how I was such a good student. But I was very defiant.&nbsp;

Vic: Oh gosh. I can relate to that so much. Holy cow. You, you excel in all these areas that are really impressive. But then there's this whole other side of you that you. I find that in a lot of people who struggle with alcohol or drugs and things like that.

Khadi: Yes. I think that like growing up, we're constantly told to what to do, what to say, how to behave. I always felt like I was being told to be the opposite of who I was genuinely, right? Who I was authentically.&nbsp;

Vic: What was school and home life for you back then? Because I know you had a unique upbringing in that you went to Catholic school, right? But you grew up in a Muslim family.

Khadi: My parents are from Nigeria, immigrants, and generally Islam is a huge religion following in Nigeria, so yes I was born into the Islamic faith. However, there was this assumption that private schools are better in regards to education than public schools. So yes, my parents enrolled us into like an Irish Catholic school. And basically I would go to school there, however, after school and on Sundays, I would go to the mosque and Monday through Friday I would study Arabic, reading the Quran, and on Sunday, Sunday school.&nbsp;

Vic: Khadi was also experiencing cultural differences with her parents.&nbsp;

Khadi: Internally in the home, I will say it was tumultuous [chuckles]. And I think it has a lot to do with like where my parents were raised. When you think about it, my parents for the most part are as old as the, in the independence of the country they were born in. So it just has a lot to do with how they were raised, what they thought was acceptable.

Vic: Because your family was Muslim and I would imagine conservative around alcohol, right? No one drank, right?

Vic: So the first time you drank, you know, was it your first night at college?

Khadi: My first night in college, I always tell the story of like my dad and my brother dropping me off at the dorm and then I get a knock when they leave and it's this boy; he’s part of the fraternity. He's like, hey, do you wanna hang out tonight? And I'm like, okay, sure, hang out. I went, we hung out. And at that moment, like alcohol was just so magical. For me. It was just the best thing at that time. It just felt different. It felt like I was able to escape. I felt like I was able just to, to disappear. From that point on, I feel like I've always used alcohol in the, in the quote unquote wrong way. Like I never used it socially. Like once I realized the properties of what it was able to do for me that's, that was the objective, to reach that state every time.&nbsp;

Khadi: And I'm not trying to glorify alcohol. I just want to iterate. Like, there's stages right in the beginning. It's good, it's, it's good until it's no longer good and that’s the problem.

Vic: You have to be truthful. That's, that's how we talk about these things, right?<s> </s>The truth is that for a while, alcohol or drugs, they felt great. They felt tremendous.

Khadi: They felt really good, yes. Especially growing up, always, doing well in school, doing well in sports, winning science competitions, but constantly feeling like I wasn't good enough. Alcohol just made me forget about all like, the quote unquote negative aspects that I thought I possessed at that time, if that makes sense.&nbsp;

Vic: It makes perfect sense. So you're sort of drinking in college, but you know, college, everyone's drinking. Right. And did you think you had a problem at the time?

Khadi: Absolutely not. Everyone was drunk [laughter] half of the time. I had a huge course load, and I wanted to graduate on time, if not earlier. I always took about like 17 credits per semester. I was a sorority girl. I was able to do things, right? So Monday through Thursday, I was working hard, working hard, working hard. But Friday to like Sunday that's when my drinking would just take off. And I felt like this is what everyone did and I felt like I deserved it. It was like, it was okay, a reward.

Vic: After college, Khadi went to law school. It was a lot like her undergrad years, but everything was kicked up a notch. She drank a lot on the weekends.

Khadi: It was still very problematic. No one should be drinking that amount, but as long as you're able to continue going to school, you're getting good grades, you're volunteering in class, you know, you're answering questions, right? No one really cares [chuckles], until, yeah, until it presents itself to be, where you're not being as productive as you were then that's when it generally becomes a problem or issue that needs to be solved.

Vic: You had an experience during Ramadan that you didn't understand until later. What was that?

Khadi: It was my first summer law school internship. Typically during law school, you're supposed to be working at different firms or wherever you picture yourself working when you graduate. The goal is to build a relationship with that firm. And then when you graduate, you'll be hired. So one of the offers I received was at a firm in New York. It was great. They're trying to impress me. They want me to come to apply to this firm and work here after I graduate. And what do they do with? Alcohol. Every day after work, we would go to happy hour. There was alcohol in the office fridge, there was alcohol everywhere. Like even one weekend they took us out in a limousine, nothing but alcohol. I don't even know. Like when I think about the amount of alcohol I drank that summer and I was still able to function – like that would not have been the case maybe two or three years later in my addiction. At that time I was able to take breaks from alcohol. And for me, during Ramadan, I always abstained from drinking and having sex. Things that you're not supposed to do as a Muslim anyways, but, you know, I'm human. And for me it was since when Ramadan came around, I wasn't going to drink. I wasn't going to have sex. I wasn't going to curse, you know, do things that I'm not supposed to be doing anyways. And it was the second day of Ramadan, I believe, and I started itching violently. Think about like spiders just all over your body. But you can't see them. We had to call the ambulance. I went to the doctor, the doctor did not know why I was itching. I then had to leave their internship early and go back to New York City.

They thought that was an allergy, that was allergic to something. It wasn't until I went back to school where I started drinking again. I realized that the itching subsided. I realized that I was having withdrawal. My body was having withdrawal from alcohol. which none of the doctors even asked me about my drinking habits. None of the doctors that I saw that summer could tell me what was going on with my body.

Vic: That is just incredible. And it’s scary - I would think, to look back on it.

Khadi: Like, imagine if I would've known if I would've stopped and if I wouldn't have, you know, entered into addiction, what would life have been like then? Vic: Khadi’s drinking escalated when she started preparing for the BAR exam. It’s something that would be stressful for any law student… But Khadi felt even more pressure than many of her classmates.&nbsp;

Khadi: I went to a predominantly white law school. And, I think like any given class year, maybe, maybe like 110 students, maybe three to four were black. Looking back, it makes no sense, right? There was this like myth that black students don't pass the bar on the first try.

Vic: That adds pressure. It adds more of a weight on your shoulders.

Khadi: For sure. I did not want to be one of those black students who didn't pass – and I wasn't. Honestly, not to toot my own horn … Vic: Toot away.

Khadi: The chance of me not passing on the first, on the first try, which actually slim to none [laughter]. But anyways, when you have all these things in your head, you're scared. So that's when my relationship with alcohol definitely took a turn. So in the morning I would wake up, take caffeine pills, drinking a lot of coffee – basically so I can stay up and study. I would wake up, let's say at like eight, start studying at nine. And then I wouldn't stop studying until like, let's say 9:00 p.m., 10:00 p.m. And because I was so like, hooked up on caffeine and coffee, I would just drink myself away to go to sleep.

Khadi: Yes. And it worked all the time. It literally was like clockwork for two months. That's what I did. Caffeine in the morning, cheap, you know, I didn't have any money. Broke. Cheap liquor from like the dollar store – the moonshine that would just knock you out, knock me out [laughter] like clockwork.

Khadi: I didn't even, at that time, really have any concerns about my drinking. I thought that once I went back to New York to work, I would be fine.

Vic: Khadi was starting her first job in the New York legal profession. But she felt lost. She suddenly felt disconnected from the go-getter she’d always been.

Khadi: It was miserable. I was miserable. And I just felt like it was such a 180. I'm coming from 26 years of life of constantly being told, I'm very smart, very intelligent, constantly having a lot of commitments, right? Being in charge of something, being committed to something, being responsible for something. My life was always busy. Like I, it was always busy. And I went from that to working at a nine to five office. As a first-year attorney, I didn't even have my bar results yet. So I wasn't really doing much besides writing motions for other attorneys. I felt so worthless. I felt like I didn't have any meaning. I didn't really even have a concept of mental health. So what I resorted to was drinking. That's what I knew relieved me.&nbsp;

Vic: But Khadi’s drinking couldn’t get rid of that loss of a sense of purpose in her life. Instead, she found herself falling into an unfulfilling cycle.&nbsp;

Khadi: It was the same pattern. Same pattern. Moving into a new apartment, starting a new job, then feeling like something was missing. Then drinking, calling out of work, being spoken to and then, okay, I'm resigning. I have to take care of myself, but not taking care of myself. Going back to drinking.

I went to see a therapist. And it's so funny, I didn't go get help from my drinking. ‘Cause again, at that time I didn't have any concept of addiction, drinking problems. I just knew I was sad. I knew I was depressed. I knew that I wasn't feeling good, but I didn't know why. And I remember the first thing she told me was, she said, I think you should stop drinking. And I was like, what are you talking about? What does my drinking have anything to do with anything? I was like, what are you talking about? Yeah, my drinking is not the problem. It's something else. And she was telling me, well yeah, we can get to the something else, but the first thing that you need to do is stop drinking. And I literally like, was so pissed off at her I left her office and went back out and continued drinking.

&nbsp;Vic: What did your drinking look like, Khadi? Like what did a day or a night of drinking look like for you?

Khadi: I would start drinking at 5:00 p.m., and I would drink until I blacked out. The next day. Let's say I would wake up, maybe drink until like 3:00 p.m. But I would try to force myself to drink more, which resulted in me being physically sick. Like I was throwing up. I couldn't move stomach cramps. Like. Me and my stomach have a very tumultuous relationship. And, and when it's done, it's just done, right?

Even two days of drinking, not like continuous drinking, would bring me unbearable pain. And then if I'm in pain, I can't go to work. I can't go on the subway and go to another borough. At the same time having alcohol-induced anxiety and alcohol-induced depression, even though I was already feeling depressed. So the days that I was really taking off of work, it wasn't to drink, it was to heal and to get better.

That to me is one of the classic signs of addiction – when you are experiencing consequences. And it doesn't have to be physical. It doesn't have to only be like losing a job or being houseless. When you are, when you are facing consequences, and, despite those consequences, you are still choosing to drink, you cannot stop. I think that you know you’re getting into the territory of problem drinking, addiction. And it’s a sign to reevaluate your relationship with alcohol.&nbsp;

Vic: After a quick break, Khadi tries to reevaluate her relationship with alcohol but finds that her own perceptions of what addiction is could hold her back.&nbsp;

Khadi admitted to herself that she had a problem with alcohol. She needed to focus her energy on not drinking. So she tried rehab.&nbsp;

Khadi: I don't think I've ever admitted this before. I honestly went into rehab because like, I couldn't go back home to my parents and I needed somewhere to stay [laughter]. I didn't wanna go back to my parents ‘cause they wouldn't even have understood what I was going through. I had admitted at this time that I did have a problem, and I said, you know what, maybe I should just go get help. So I went to the rehab. I was the only black person there. I was also the only person who was there for the first time.

I didn't feel in comparison to the other people I was with that I was in addiction. I was listening to what the other attendees were telling me, like, Khadi, you don't have a problem. You're not bad. You just have to drink less. I was basically looking at my stay at rehab as like a little vacation, which I definitely needed. So as soon as I left, let's say 30 days later, what did I do?

Khadi: Went back to liquor store and drank.&nbsp;

Vic: I wanna stay on this Khadi, ‘cause I think it's actually really important what you're talking about. First of all, I had a, it's amazing how many similar experiences I had with you. I, I didn't, I was not ready to stop. I went to a very fancy rehab center. But I didn't take it seriously. Like I was, I was calling up my bookie over the phone and making bets and, you know, I was hooking up with one of my bunk mates. And then of course the very day I graduated, so to speak, I drank. I was not ready, because I still had this ego. I still had this stigma or attachment to addiction. Like you see the homeless person and, muttering back and forth, you know, oh, that guy clearly has a problem. Right? Like we have this image of what an alcoholic or an addict should look like. But what we fail to see is that you don't have to be that extreme to be an alcoholic or an addict. And I think that gets to your point of like when I first went to rehab, I'm sitting next to people who like, have tattoos and they've been in and out of prison. I'm like, I'm not as bad as this guy. Right? Like, I got this. And I think that goes to the overall stigma that we talk about. That we don't have to look a certain way or act a certain way to reach rock bottom.

Khadi: I mean, you said it perfectly and honestly, none of us are that far removed from being houseless. None of us are that far removed. Imagine if I did continue drinking. I already knew that I could lose a job. I was resigning. I could have easily been fired if I continued. So I know that I'm fireable. And if I'm losing my job or if I'm resigning, I can’t pay my bills, right?

Vic: That is exactly right. And while we're in the process of doing it, we're still considered to be quote unquote functioning alcoholics.

Khadi: I just feel like we're all, we are never, if you're in addiction, you're never really too far removed from being that person or looking like that thing that you associate addiction with.

Vic: After rehab, Khadi went back into that old pattern again: new apartment, new job, more drinking. And her relationships were becoming strained.

She reached a point where she knew something had to change.&nbsp;

Khadi: I just said I have to, I had to make changes. And I, at that time, that point, I went to Buffalo. I knew I couldn't get sober in New York. That was a fact.

Vic: And so did you start going to do outpatient stuff then?&nbsp;

Khadi: Oh, for sure. I was able to attend 12 step programs, even though I knew at that time I wasn't gonna do actual 12 steps, but I knew it felt good to be around other people getting sober just for the fellowship. I always tell people, you have to do what you have to do. You know, I went to the government building, got help with like, rent because I wasn't working. I had, I needed to get sober. Yeah. And I needed all the help I could, I could get, and I wasn't, I wasn't embarrassed or ashamed to do that.

Vic: That's why the help's there. That's why the help's there.

Khadi: I've been working since I was 14 years old and this time I need help, right. I need all the help that I could get. And that's basically where and how I got sober. When I went to Buffalo, the 12 step meetings that I went to was more diverse.

And I remember, George Floyd, right? He was murdered. And I remember going to a meeting that night and no one was really affected or really was talking about it. This meeting that I went to was a predominantly a white meeting. No one was talking about it. And then in the morning when I went to another 12 step meeting, which was predominantly black, I brought that up. Like, don't you guys feel any type of way of like, like why is no one talking about the murder of George Floyd? And, you know, these were older folks, older black folks, I really, truly, you know, love and, and admire. They were telling me, Khadi, you just gotta focus on your recovery. And, you know, you can't worry about, you know, what happened to him. God, God, it's a generational thing. Yes, I know God exists. Yes, I know God. But that's not enough. It's not enough that I just put what I just saw on TV and what's going on, on the back burner or pretend like it's not happening just because I'm in recovery … I can't do that. I wanna learn how to live in the midst of all this chaos. Without trying to escape. To me, ignoring that something is actually happening is another form of escaping.

Vic: Some of those older members that you were talking about, like, I call 'em, you know, the, you know, the old school types, right? Like, I love them to death and they have so much wisdom. They do. But where's the balance, right?&nbsp;

Khadi: And I'm not in a position to judge anyone else. But I know for myself, I don't wanna pretend that things are not existing or not happening. I want to learn how to cope in a world where things are happening. I want to acknowledge, accept, you know? So that, to me, is one of the main reasons why I said, I don't think this 12 step thing is a good fit for me personally.&nbsp;

Vic: 12 step meetings have helped millions of people recover from drugs and alcohol, including me. But they weren’t the right fit for Khadi. But, instead of giving up, she did something else. Back in 2018, Khadi had started a blog. On it, she wrote honest posts about her struggles with alcohol and what it was like trying to get sober. It wasn’t until a couple years later that Khadi realized her experiences were really resonating with other Black women.&nbsp;

Khadi: I started to get DMs and emails from other black girls and women who are basically saying that, they're drinking a lot, but they don't understand why. Like they can relate to my blog. And what I picked up from what folks were telling me is that they didn't know who they were when they were not taking care of folks, working. Especially as Black girls, Black women, generally we are the head of the household. We're responsible for the rest of the folks in our community. We go to school, we work, we create. But because that was put on hold for them, they have lost somewhat of their identity. And that related a lot towards what I was experiencing when I graduated law school.

Vic: It inspired her to create an inclusive online recovery community: the Sober Black Girls Club.

Khadi: We welcome all pathways. I'm talking about my experience as Katie Oluwatoyin, the Cancer, the Leo Rising, the New Yorker, the attorney. I can only talk about my experiences and my feelings. But in the club, we welcome all pathways. ‘Cause it's like, I just feel like there's so many options. There's so many ways that people can recover. We know that not one way is gonna work for everybody, so why not just make it accessible to everyone and just give them the option to try different things.&nbsp;

Vic: Khadi started hosting virtual meetings for the Sober Black Girls Club in 2020. Khadi didn’t want people to feel how she’d felt in recovery meetings before. She wanted people to talk honestly about experiences as Black women in recovery.&nbsp;

Khadi: One person asked me how does this relate differently from white folks? Like white people go through this. And I love that they asked me that. ‘Cause I'm like, yes. I, no one asked me that before, but it makes sense. Let's get into it. This is how it's different. It's different because black folks,<s> e</s>specially with our parents, the old folks, right? Growing up it was always like, don't do this or white people are gonna think you're crazy. Don't do this. Or white people are gonna be think you're stupid. Don't do this. Or white people are gonna do this. And who, who was I looking for approval? My parents. Who, who were they looking for approval? White people. Like&nbsp;

I, it, it wasn't until I started to get into wait, wait, how did I even get here? When it comes to, to black girls or women, like who are we trying to impress? Who are we looking up to? Who are we looking up to and what are the determining factors? And generally it's really just what white folks have deemed appropriate. You know? Is your nails too long? Is your hair? Is your, are you ghetto? How you speaking, code switching? And that, even though it's very common in a black experience, I don't think that sometimes even as black people, we acknowledge the, the trauma or, or the difficulty that it really brings on when we are trying to really evaluate who we are and what we stand for.&nbsp;

Vic: Thank you for all of that because I think a lot of people just don't know. Right. They just don't know. And, and ‘cause not only do you have your own set of layers as a person dealing with recovery, and then there’s the other layer that a lot of people don't know about.&nbsp;

Vic: Khadi was helping other people recover, and making discoveries that were helping her understand herself. One of those discoveries was the writing of Bell Hooks, a revolutionary author who wrote about race, class, gender and self recovery.&nbsp;

Khadi: So back then, we were just hosting meetings, talking about our experiences in sobriety. You know, the books that we read, we would have like literature meetings and the books that we would read were from Bell Hooks.&nbsp;

Khadi: Yes! It and she just, the way she captures just, just the, our experiences just was just eye-opening. Right. It's not enough to be like, okay, society is racist and this and that. Okay, yes, we know what, okay, great. But how is this, how is this transcribing into our everyday lives? How is this like, you know, creeping into how we view ourselves and how we view each other, how our parents treat us and how, how, you know, compared to how they cheat other people outside it just, the way she talks about, um, the black woman, black girls is just amazing. So the book that we started reading was Black, um, sisters of the Year, black Woman and Self Recovery. And a lot of us, honestly, every week, I think we only had like one or two meetings that time we just would cry because it was just, it was just life changing.

Like that book just changed everything for us. And um, and strengthens us what's really important. Yes, accolades are important, right? Everyone wants to feel – look good, everyone wants to accomplish things, right? But you, that is like at the, that is at the bottom. What is that top? It's like your own self-love, your own your, your independence, right? Um, your self autonomy, actualization.&nbsp;

So we basically used our meetings to, to talk about our relationship with nature, our relationship with animals, our relationship with rest, with forgiveness. That book is like our blue book.

Vic: Your voice gets so hopeful and optimistic when you talk about the Club. And it's just, it's, I could just hear it. And I love it and I love what you're doing. What does your family think about your recovery and your work with Sober Black Girls Club?

Khadi: Oh, please. They don't acknowledge it. I think like one of the most healing, one of the things I have been healing in my self recovery, it's just allowing people to be who they are. Especially in the Black community, a lot of stigma, a lot of guilt. If I have a problem and you are my parent, then you are going to create my problem, um, on you. And I think that's, that's the problem. It's like talking about our experiences and not being able to talk about them just as it is, but people thinking that it's going to create or equal, blame or guilt or shame on the other person. It's like, can I just talk about my experience and you not make it about you. So I think that's a huge part of it. But to be honest, like when I got sober, um, to move to Buffalo, you know, my mom helped me. So I don't wanna say that they haven't helped me. They've helped me financially get to where I need to go. But like, do they ask me about my sobriety? No.

Vic: And I, and I don't want to throw 'em under the bus either. Right. Because as you mentioned, there's, there's cultural issues at hand, not just in your family, but many, many other families. I do though – bringing it back to recovery – how do you not allow yourself to become resentful? How does your recovery work in helping you move past that?

Khadi: Focusing on the positive more. The club really honestly brings me joy. So I am really excited about the future SBGC and incorporating recovery programs that are already established. ‘Cause SBGC is not a recovery program, it's just a recovery group. It's a recovering support group, social group, whatever you wanna define it, but we’re gonna be adding programs, so yeah, I’m excited. I'm just so proud of SBGC. Again, I always tell people I am, I'm a human being. I'm open to change. Like if I imagine being stuck on one thing, like it is just being stuck on one ideal or one belief. In my opinion, it just keeps us in this, in this, I don't know. It's just the opposite of surrendering, right? And my recovery is all about surrendering to what is.&nbsp;

I'll be honest, like my addiction, as sad as it was, it opened a door of recovery for me – and I don't mean just recovery from alcohol, I mean self recovery.&nbsp;

Vic: Khadi continues to grow and expand the Sober Black Girls Club, which is now officially a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization. You can learn more at soberblackgirlsclub.com.&nbsp;

“Back From Broken” is hosted by me, Vic Vela. It’s a production of Colorado Public Radio's Audio Innovations Studio and CPR News. Our lead producer today was Emily Williams. This episode was mixed by Kibwe Cooper. Find a list of all the folks who worked hard to make this episode in the show notes. Thanks for listening to “Back From Broken.” Please review the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. It helps other people find it. This podcast is made possible by Colorado Public Radio members. Learn about supporting “Back From Broken” at cpr.org.

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A podcast about recovery, hosted by Vic Vela.

Back from Broken

Khadi Oluwatoyin created her own recovery group for Black women and nonbinary folks to help others — and herself — through recovery.

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Here’s how Colorado’s doing in bid to meet key early childhood goals

Baby Jesus stolen from Fort Collins nativity scene returned anonymously with apology

Colorado clemencies include a public defender and many community volunteers

No charges filed for posting of voting machine passwords

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